can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
