This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
