Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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