apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
