i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
