john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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