is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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