He is such a slut. More and more my type.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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