didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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