apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
