I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
