South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
