sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you never un-have a 4some
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
