why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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