I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize