YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
