my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
