i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
