I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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