You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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