i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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