Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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