Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize