Kiss
Puke
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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