I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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