A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
