all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
