there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
