my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
