you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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