Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
