I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
