i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
