I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
