Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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