Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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