You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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