i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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