Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Life is so much better after having sex.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
