So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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