Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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