just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My vagina is very pro this idea
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