sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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