i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
