yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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