The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize