I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
