God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
