I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
