Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize