Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
