well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The beer is more important than you right now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
