Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
