cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And then the night went full on bisexual.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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