Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize