i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
not ubering you a puppy
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
