So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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