If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
