No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
