Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's official drugs can't kill me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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