hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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