I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
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I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
how drunk are you?
Several
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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